I will begin this by saying that as a student my class had to endure the pain of losing a classmate and friend. I was in sixth grade and everything started great. We had a nice teacher and my friends were in my class. There was a student named Jodi that I had in my class every year. Her last name was just above mine in the alphabetical order. We had been together for 7 years. It was a fall day when everything turned upside down. Jodi had gone to the doctor for a sport physical and was diagnosed with Leukemia. That in and of itself is difficult , but when the next news came days later, our whole world inside our protective environment crashed and crashed hard. We found out that she had suffered an aneurysm and did not make it. Our twelve year old hearts did not know how to even begin to process that.

I was devastated. This was a person that I sat by, played with, and yes, got into a bit of trouble for talking too much with. In PE we sat in alphabetical order. I found myself unable to scoot up in the line. I didn’t want to. I felt that if I pretended that it wasn’t real I wouldn’t have to deal with the hurt.

While we, as students, were trying to cope with this unknown feeling, our teacher was having to manage the grief of twenty plus students all while dealing with her own grief. Even now as I think back, she remains one of my favorite teachers that I ever had. We didn’t realize what a brave , selfless person she truly was. She is the reason that I feel like it is important to know your students. Not just know their name, but to know them as people. Someone once gave me a piece of advice, “You don’t need to know anything about your students. Just teach them and send them on their way.” I am happy to report that I did not follow that advice. I am in my eighteenth year of teaching and something that I pride myself in is creating positive relationships with my students and colleagues alike.

I know that I started this post by telling of a situation that happened a long time ago. As a teacher, I have had my fair share of traumatic events. It is nothing you can prepare for. This week my school suffered a loss. A student that I had twice and now have his younger brother, sadly took his life. It hit really hard because we got the news before the students. We were sent an email from the Superintendent informing us of the loss of one of our seniors. Instant shock and heartbreak hit me, my co-teacher, our librarian, and her assistant. The students in my class were left wondering what could possibly be wrong enough to cause this reaction.

As the news spread and more people learned about what happened, our school family came together to support each other. The amount of compassion that was exhibited was a beautiful thing in the wake of a soul crushing occurrence. I hate that this seems to happen only when something tragic happens. If we can grieve together, we should be able to laugh together.

I am not sure that being in tears at your job isn’t the look people are going for, but it shows the students that we are human and we have feelings and can cry when a death occurs. My students have been very caring. They have stopped to see if I am okay. It is these moments that teaching is a job with that fills your soul, but it is also a time in the job that I hate. Teaching is getting to know your students for four years and saying goodbye at the end of those years. It is not a job that can be faked by having surface knowledge. It is also not a job where you can fake care, understanding, and empathy. Kids can spot a phony. Teaching is a job where your heart is filled with joy and a job that will break that same heart.

I leave you all with this thought, even though this is a crazy job where you never know what kind of day you will have when walk through the door; It is an adventure. Not always a good adventure, but an adventure nonetheless. Be sure to tell people that you love them. Check on your friends and family. If you or someone you know is having a rough time, know that you are never truly alone. We can come out the grief and heartache stronger. That isn’t to say that you will forget the hard times, but it really does make you appreciate the beautiful, complicated thing that we call life.

With love and hugs, until next time,

Cat