Over the years, I have contemplated writing a book. I have always loved reading and writing. My father once asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I proudly stated that I wanted to be an author. Much to my chagrin, he did not feel that this was a career choice, but rather just a hobby. “You can’t just sit at home and be the next Poe or Shakespeare. You need to get a real job.” So what did I choose? I chose to be a high school English teacher. My thought was that if I couldn’t be a full time author, I could at least do something in the world of literature. I would be surrounded by all of the classics.

Once in a while, a teacher can hear from his or her desk the most random conversations. I am not sure whether the students know that we can hear them or if they do know, or if they just don’t care. Needless to say, I have heard some crazy things over the past 18 years.

What brings this topic up you might ask. Well, today was one of those days where I heard a few conversations that I could have easily misheard. A student asked me if she could go to her locker to get a pencil. I was across the room and I misheard what she said. I thought she asked if she could go to her locker to get her pistol. Yikes, definitely not what she said. Even though this was my error, I have heard on several occasions things I did not want to know about my students.

As a student, I always thought that it was cool to have a bit of power. Teachers used to read student notes when found during class or after class was over. It just so happened that during my first year as a teacher(I was an older teacher at 36 as I stayed home with my sons) I found a note on the floor. I thought to myself that I am the teacher, I can read this. After reading that note, I learned things about my student’s weekend “activities” that I could not then forget. I had difficulty looking at that student without the thought of what he had been doing racing through my mind. It was right then and there that I would never exercise that teacher power again. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was definitely not humorous in any way. Lesson learned. Sometimes it is better to just throw that note away.

My second year of teaching started off well enough. It was farther into the year that I got a new student in one of my classes. She was what the kids called Emo at the time. The students were finished with their work and were chatting like kids do. The girls in the class were trying to be welcoming to the new girl and were looking at the drawings she had in her sketch book. One of the girls flipped to a page where there was a picture of a devil creature. When asked why she had drawn the devil the girl replied that she dated him. I said that she meant that she dated someone like the devil, an unkind person. She came back with the statement that she did in fact date THE DEVIL. The boys who weren’t paying any attention to the girls were now fully invested in the conversation. The student then said that she was a demon, but a good one. I replied that demons by nature are not good. She then said that she was. A boy then kept asking her about it and in all seriousness, she looked at him directly in the eyes and started to utter some language that sounded very much like the snake language from Harry Potter. The girls were a little surprised and asked what she had said to him. She then said she couldn’t repeat it or he would die. It was then that I ended the conversation and no more of the devil business was discussed. This is a moment that I will never forget.

As the years have passed, there hasn’t been anything even remotely close to my demon story. I have heard random pieces of conversations during class. I once heard a student say that their fart smelled like cheese and vomit. Gross, I know. This is just one thing that high school kids find funny. From the dab to bottle tossing, to the floss, and finally the stupidest thing yet, 6 7. Each year brings new stupid phrases and actions. Skibidi Toilet, Riz, on God, and No Cap are just a few. What makes this even worse is that legitimate outlets make things like these new entries in the dictionary or the word of the year. What has this world come to? It is clearly a dumpster fire. (lol)

What does the rest of 2025/2026 hold for me? It is hard to say, but whatever it is, I am here to try to be the reason in the world of nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, as a teen in the 80s, we dressed crazy, sported huge bangs, and bad perms. We talked in Valley speak all while trying to get the guy with the mullet perm and the overly powerful first edition Polo cologne. We tight rolled our jeans and tried out colored mascara. I can’t say that we were unique, but as most groups of adolescents feel that they are something new and fresh, we were living our best lives. It is with this thought in mind that I can just picture what my future students will be like. I am sure that whatever they come up with, I will be here to catch those crazy partial conversations.

I guess the final thought I want to leave you with for today is that by the end of my career, I will have volumes of really great stories to tell. I even have a title for my future book….What I Heard From My Desk: A Teacher’s Memoir. Until then, I will continue to live a world full of crazy, fun, and sometimes way too extra students. I love what I do (most of the time) and I really care about my students. When all is said and done, I want my students to look back and remember not only the lessons in English class, but also the lessons about life. Teaching is a calling and I am proud to be a small part of my students’ journey.

Until next time,

Cat